Indulging Self Oblitoration

I am seasoned in the act of self-obliteration. There, I said it. 

I am a Self-Obliterator. 

A really, really good one.

Last weekend I indulged in some heavy self-obliteration practices to the extent that I now feel the deep urge to write something about it, before it transcends into something potentially more committed, like being a Defeatist or maybe even an Unjustified Quitter. 

There are some fundamental differences between being a Self-Obliterator and being a Defeatist that I'd like to start by outlining. 

First of all, a Defeatist is defined as being someone who expects or is excessively ready to accept failure without a struggle.

A Self- Obliterator on the other hand, is, I have deduced, someone who is in denial about both the prospect of failure and the possibility of success. They are a variety of deeply ambiguous sole for whom it makes more sense to defend against the troubling realities that may transpire should their actions (or lack thereof) cause the pendulum between failure and success to tip either way. 

Of course, Self-Obliterators are not the same as Head-in-the-Sanders.

Self-Obliterators are in denial, but this denial takes on a distinctly active form. 

To ensure that they preserve their warped self- expectations, that is, that they are capable of/deserve neither success nor failure, Self- Obliterators must account for their tendencies to flirt with the notion of failure and yet never follow through with it, and their potential incapacities/ absence of (obvious) expectation to succeed. 

Not to be confused with those who posses the slightly inconvenient and more placid plight of Extreme-Humbleness, Self-Obliterators violently and verbally beat the idea of success away from their door with a barrage of fear and self-doubt.

'What? No I don't expect to get a job in academia after I'm finished. What do you think I am some kind of idiot? I'll be lucky if I even complete my fieldwork the odds are that stacked against me, I probably should just quit RIGHT NOW...'

It's ok though, attacking the mere discussion of possibilities post-PhD with fear and self-doubt shows to others, for the Self-Obliterator, a lack of fear and self-doubt, obviously. 

'...but yeah, you know, I mean it'll probably be all right actually come to think of it probably. I mean, I don't know how but jesus. I've dragged myself this far beyond the destitute experience of high-school. Surely even I can work something out '. 

The jaws of failure have snapped at their ankles. Observe as the Self-Obliterator expels it with a begrudged sense of entitlement and a 'fearless' display of implied ineptitude.

Sigh.

I shall return with further insight (ha) into this complex, highly useless mentality in the future (maybe).  Perhaps once I have drifted categories into something more productive, like, oh, I don't know, maybe a Believer...

Kath

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'How To' Hit List: Academic CVs

I worked as a CV Adviser at my university for 2 years. To mark the end of my time in the role I thought I'd compile a list of the most useful tips and tricks I picked up along the way.
Some of this might be obvious, but here's my 'how to hit list' for producing a more effective, high impact Academic CV.

1. START WITH RESEARCH INTERESTS

So many Academic CVs I've encountered begin with a personal profile. Nine times out of ten, you've read one of these things, you've read them all. 'Hard working researcher of gender and sexuality with excellent communication skills and a fabulous ability to relay all of the attributes required of the advertised position' and yawn, yawn seen it all... Don't even waste the space, it's an optional addition to any CV anyway. Provide an overview of your research interests in place of a profile- this information is of far more use to recruiters, and it will help to construct a more accurate and relevant image of what you're like as a candidate.

2. KEEP IT CONCISE

Nobody wants to read through the long list of module codes you've slapped in your CV to signify the scope of your teaching achievements. Even if you are applying for an internal position within your existing school, these codes fail to tell readers anything about your actual teaching abilities. 

Instead, translate your experiences into relevant skills. Provide a breakdown of your main roles and responsibilities and contextualise these by evidencing the skills and aptitudes you utilised and developed when performing key tasks. Always prioritise and highlight those skills outlined as essential and/or desirable within the criteria of the roles you are applying for. 

REMEMBER: Writing a CV is about building a case that evidences how you are an ideal candidate for the position you are applying for. So don't cloud your case with waffle, jargon or information that doesn't really tell anyone anything about your proficiencies. 

3. BE EFFICIENT WITH SUBHEADINGS

Your CV needs to highlight your most RECENT and RELEVANT achievements. Therefore it makes sense to create subheadings that make these aspects of your CV more obvious. Organise your work history by relevancy as well as by date. Try fracturing this section in two and creating sub sections titled 'Relevant Experience' and 'Additional Experience'. Lay out each in reverse chronological order and revel in the fact that you just made the task of reading your CV even easier. 

4. DELETE UNRELATED INFORMATION

What's that? You where once a self employed puppeteer in your very own travelling Punch and Judy show? Well isn't that tremendous. 

No.

If it's not relevant to the role you're applying for, take it out.

5. TINKER TAILOR, TAILOR, TAILOR

This should go without saying, but NO, you can't apply for a range of posts with the exact same CV. Your CV needs to be tailored to each vacancy. It may need a tweak, it may need a complete over hall, but unless the positions are somehow completely identical- some form of editing will be required. Again, we're producing a document that builds an image of what you are like as a candidate in the readers mind. Lets make that image irresistibly clear. 

6. DON'T WRITE IN FIRST PERSON

Take out all if the Is mes and mys that are cluttering up your CV. First person encourages a descriptive style of writing that takes up space. Huge blocks of text are laborious to read through. Swap first person pros for bullet points that start with active verbs instead and behold- your CV should read more efficiently and should have a dynamic and professional tone to it.

7. FORMAT EFFECTIVELY

The return button is your enemy- line breaks add up so try to ration them. 

We know that Academic CVs can be longer than the standard 2 sides of A4, but academics are busy people. No one wants to trawl through a CV that resembles that of a short novella- it's self indulgent and most likely unnecessary. A lot of the lengthy Academic CVs I've seen usually appear that little bit too long because of bad formatting. 

My best advice? Make use of the WIDTH of the page as well as the length. Think twice about hitting return, try a comma first instead. 

Other fabulous space saving tips include setting your margins to narrow (and saving as a pdf), reducing the line spacing to 1.0 (as long as the CV is still readable with your selected font) and deleting the words 'Curriculum Vitae' from the top of your CV- they know its a CV, it should be pretty obvious. 

8. PUBLICATIONS

Literally the currency of winners. Get them/include them. Enough said.

9. FUNDING, CONFERENCE PAPERS, RELEVANT TRAINING, PROFESSIONAL MEMBERSHIPS

If it's relevant make sure this information is included. It all contributes to helping your academic worthiness stand out. 

10. PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOURSELF

Don't even think about it. Unless it's requested.


Useful Websites

• Newcastle University Careers Service

• Vitae offers general guidelines on creating an effective academic CV

• The Researcher Development Statement, developed by Vitae, sets out the knowledge, behaviours and attributes of effective and highly skilled researchers appropriate for a wide range of careers.

• Prospects: CVs and covering letters - includes an example academic CV.

• Newcastle Researchers' Blog - includes articles on academic CVs for Newcastle University researchers.

• Loughborough University Careers Service - Researchers – CV and applications

• University of Kent Careers Service - Postgraduate and Academic CVs, including sample CVs.

• Jobs.ac.uk recently held a tweet chat on how to write a killer academic CV (July 2014)